it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize