But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
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I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
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I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
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