I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
and she was petting her beer can
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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