STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
