your thong is hanging out like whoa
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
