I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
it's like heaven, but drunker
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
