God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
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