idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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