hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
