how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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