...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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