His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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