I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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