Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
