eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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