Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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