I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
