I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
