Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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