I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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