And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
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I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
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Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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