Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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