Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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