Please, let me fuck your mom
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
