we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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