were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Damn victory sex feels great
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
