I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Randomize