Tell her she can't have a vagina
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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