During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I want a musical about memes.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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