new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
