Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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