I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
