i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Randomize
