let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
