ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
