Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
