i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize
