it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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