i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
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