I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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