In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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