oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
