all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
