Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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