I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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