I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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