Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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