There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
