Have you finally orgasmed yet?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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