i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
