Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize