This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize