I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
