I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
