Hey man sorry I got all grabby
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
