and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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