Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
vagina is talking i cant
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
