Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize