Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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