Sponge bath it is.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
