I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I looked at my own cervix.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
