I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
