I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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