I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
