I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I just gift wrapped bread.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
